Craig Bjergsen age 29
I don't even know what's goin on bruh everything's on fire the goblin ate my dog bruh I just wanna go home bruh oh god it's lifting up a car oh god no no NOOOOOOAAAAAAA-
SWAG NEWS SPECIAL REPORT
PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 19 2022
A GOBLIN HAS BEGUN TO GET LITTY IN SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD, LOCAL RESIDENTS ARE EXPECTED TO STAY INDOORS AND REFRAIN FROM TURNING UP WITH SAID GOBLIN
THE CURRENT CASUALTY COUNT IS 54,976, WITH NUMBERS EXPECTED TO GROW EXPONTENTIALLY OVERNIGHT (HE GETS PRETTY SILLY AT NIGHT LOL)
WITNESS INTERVIEWS
Fortissimo Daniels age 24
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH IT ATE MY TEETH AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO WHY WOULD HE DO THIS AAAUUUUAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH